Article - The DNA of Love

THE DNA OF LOVE

Every relationship begins with love. Every relationship is sustained by love. Everything good or bad done has love in it. Even the worst kind of hate has a root of love that went wrong. Love is a package of feelings and actions towards an object of attraction. We want to keep our love affair going for as long as possible but sadly, that does not happen for some of us. Love seems to die off and we wonder why we found our partners attractive in the first place. In this piece, we are going to meet the components of love that make every relationship work and last.

To start with, love does not die. Anyone who has ever loved truly can attest to this. There might be a reason why the pair cannot be together but deep down, the love is still there. How is that possible? Before anyone can confidently say they are in love, or they love someone, whatever emotion it is should have these three elements: passion, intimacy, and then commitment. Let’s discuss them.

PASSION

This part of the relationship is normally the most physical. The first to develop, passion makes the couple desire to be together always. The couple desire to spend their time together, not wanting to leave each other even for a minute. For melancholics, this can be suffocating, but sanguines enjoy it all. When they are not together physically, they spend good time on phone. Passion makes couples create situations where they will always be thrown together. At this stage, the couple do not care much about character and attitude. Unfortunately, passion is the first to wane and die. People who marry during this stage quickly realize after a few years that their sweetheart is not who they thought they were. Perhaps, the reason many marriages are breaking is because the couple stayed very long in passion and married in that phase. The relationship has a better chance at surviving if it develops to phase two.

INTIMACY

Intimacy is a warm or close friendship, where the couple feels belonging to and with each other. At this point, the couple is not afraid to share themselves (their life experiences, their pains, their ambitions, their failures and successes, and even their material possessions no matter how small it may be) with their beloved. The couple is open to each other to the extent that one can accurately know what the other is thinking or feeling at a particular time. This is where a couple can communicate without speaking and they understand each other with just a look or a blink or a nod. Chances for the relationship surviving at this stage are very high and marriage can last longer. Yet, the couple might misunderstand each other which might cause problems one day. What about if they are not just passionate and intimate with each other? What if there is more?

COMMITMENT

Commitment is the act of binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to a course of action. Commitment is also the trait of sincere and steadfast fixity of purpose. In lay terms, commitment is the willingness to be with someone or something to the end, not giving up when the going gets tough but seeing through the tough times to better times. When a couple is committed to each other, although they acknowledge the weaknesses of their partners, they are willing to stick with them and work towards becoming better individuals for each other and for the world at large. When two people are committed to their relationship, they do not give up easily even in the face of threat to their relationship. They stand together and fight together and emerge victorious together, stronger than they began. When the couple marry, there is nothing that can come against them. After they marry too, even when the passion dies, intimacy and commitment will carry their marriage until death separates them.

To sum up the piece, passion,, intimacy, and commitment need to be present in equal measure for a relationship to survive. Passion is the first thing to die in any relationship, and if the couple is not intimate and committed enough, the relationship is likely to fail, leaving both parties disappointed and bitter.