PASTOR WALSH'S STRATEGY - FINAL STRIKE

STRIKE THREE - ALL THAT GLITTERS ...

This is the final part of Pastor Walsh's Strategy. In the previous episode, Kofi Adu had succeeded in deceiving his church members and head pastor that he had truly repented. But, as greed dictated, he had to set up his own church and get all the tithe and offerings for himself. Let's see how it ended for Kofi Adu. 

A year passed. Two years passed. The third year also drew to a close but the money just did not come. In fact, to Pastor Walsh’s alarm, both the finances of the church and the size of the congregation which had grown to a few hundred dwindled progressively. He did not know what to do. He was desperate. His enemies would laugh at him! He wondered why God had forsaken him.

Day by day, running the church grew more and more difficult. At a point he was tempted to call it quits just like he had called other ventures quits but something stopped him. Maybe it was his pride. Maybe it was fear of what his former senior pastor and his church members would say. Whatever it was he just did not dare to quit. There had to be a way out of this lurch. He racked his brains. Pastor Walsh thought and thought until his head ached. He tried all kinds of tricks. He threatened hellfire for members of his flock who did not pay their tithes. He promised them great blessings if they gave. One Sunday, he even put his mic into the offering basket and as the coins dropped in everyone heard the tinkling of the coins through the PA system. The congregation was embarrassed yet the money did not come. He coaxed and cajoled but nothing happened.

One day, as he sat in his little hall wrapped in thought, he remembered something his Senior Pastor Asiedu told him. The thought was like a sudden flash of light in the darkness. Apparently, years ago when his senior pastor started out, he was also a struggling penniless pastor. Things were really difficult for him until he met the woman who was now his wife. According to Senior Pastor, his wife came from a well-to-do family and she herself had some money of her own. Through the years, it was her money that supported his work until he made his breakthrough.

Success definitely does leave clues! This was THE missing link in his ministry. Pastor Walsh K. Aidoo must find a well-to-do woman and make her his wife. He must practicalise the saying that “Behind every successful man is a woman”. A rich wife was the answer to all of his problems. She would be able to foot all the bills and make things easier for him.

Now that he knew the antidote to his problems, he had to get a strategy for getting what he needed.

 First, Pastor Walsh looked through the church to see who among the Christian sisters most qualified to be Mrs. Walsh Aidoo. He considered several but all those he considered did not quite qualify. One was a nurse, pretty and single but a nurse’s salary could not sustain a church’s finances. As for the lady teachers, the least said about them, the better. There were a few traders but all of them were small-time Ghana-to-Togo type traders.

He kept on looking through the single ladies for the chosen one. For months, he checked the backgrounds of scores of sisters but none was satisfactory for his ends.

He was almost on the verge of giving up when he had a breakthrough. She had been right under his nose all the while. Sister Joan was the only sister in his church who used a car. In fact, she was the only member of his congregation who used a sports utility vehicle, a Toyota Land Cruiser to be precise. She was very single, in fact too single. Sister Joan was not really his type of woman. He usually preferred dark, slender women. Sister Joan on the other hand was flabby and light-skinned. Her face was also not what he would consider pretty.  He particularly did not like that serious and worried look she perpetually seemed to wear on her face. He did not like the bulge of her belly and her oversized breasts. She was nowhere near his taste in women but she seemed to be the most suitable for his purposes.

Pastor Walsh did a few background checks on her and found she lived in a lovely house in suburbia fit for any head pastor of a church and ran a busy supermarket on high street. He spied on her and was able to observe the amount of cash she sent to the bank in a day. He was satisfied.

Not long after he had identified and settled on Sister Joan as Miss Right, the prophecy came during one mid-week meeting where Sister Joan was in attendance. Apparently, the “spirit” directed that the woman who had been chosen for the head pastor by the “spirit” was a fair-skinned, plump sister whose name started with a J. The “spirit” even went on to describe the make of vehicle she used and the suburb where she lived.

By the time this prophecy ended, there was no doubt in Sister Joan’s mind that she was the one the prophecy was all about. Ei! She, Joan of all people? She was elated and at the same time humbled. A husband had been at the top of her prayer list for a long, long time. Who would have thought that all this time she was meant for the head pastor! Ei, wonders shall never cease! Actually, she had always kind of fancied the Reverend Walsh K. Aidoo anyway but he had never looked her way. You see what God could do?

After the prophecy came, Pastor Walsh and Sister Joan went through a whirlwind courtship so fast she was almost giddy.

 They barely got to know each other but in a couple of weeks, they tied the knot in a grand ceremony at the premises of the Legion Hall where his church met. When the reception was over, the newlyweds were whisked away to a hotel where they were to have their honeymoon. That night, and for the six days and nights that followed, Pastor Walsh who had always prided himself on his high libido was completely spent by Joan’s ravenous and almost insatiable sex drive. She was a veritable tigress. She was too much for him. There were times he felt like running from her but he couldn’t because she was surprisingly strong. There was so much lovemaking that they hardly had time to talk.

 The honeymoon thankfully came to an end and The Reverend and Mrs. Walsh Aidoo left the hotel and made for Joan’s home. That night, Pastor Walsh who wanted to start talking about her money and how it could help his ministry straight away asked to have a heart-to-heart talk with his wife.

He told her about his vision for his church which was now their church. He told her of his vision for the cathedral he wanted to build and the school which would be established alongside. He painted a verbal picture of the glorious future of their church in the country and even abroad. He talked and talked and as he talked Joan listened, her eyes glowing with adoration, fixed on him. She was so happy and impressed. God had blessed her with such a visionary man. Joan felt the goosebumps as he went on to outline the important role she would play in the success of his vision. Joan was both flattered and humbled.

Pastor Walsh began to explain how her money would be of enormous help to his work. The instant the money was mentioned, her expression changed. She interrupted him.

“Pastor Walsh, what money are you talking about?” she asked. “I don’t have any money, my love.”

“You don’t mean it, right? You’re just being modest. I know you’re a well-to-do woman,” Pastor Walsh said, laughing.

“Oh Pastor, I’m telling the truth. I don’t have any money,” Joan replied. “I’m not joking; I really don’t have any money”.

“Really? Then how did you come by this beautiful house?” Pastor Walsh queried.

“This house? Pastor appearances are deceptive. This house belongs to an auntie of mine who lives in the United States. I’m merely a caretaker here,” Joan explained. “As a matter of fact, now that I’m married I’m supposed to quit this house. She asked me to stay here until I got married. In the event I got married I was to relocate to my husband’s house.”

“What! Is that so?” Pastor was astonished. “I hope you’re telling me the truth.”

“Oh Pastor, why would I lie about such a thing?” she asked. “I’m telling you the truth. The house belongs to my auntie. We could even call and ask her.”

“Hmmm, well, but you’re rich enough to own a big shop on the High Street and ran a supermarket,” the Pastor said.

“Oh no! Pastor, please that supermarket isn’t mine either!” Joan said in alarm. “I’m merely a shop girl there. That supermarket belongs to my uncle in the UK. I am only an employee who is paid just a hundred and fifty cedis a month.”

“Ah?! What are you saying?” Pastor broke out in cold sweat and felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. “I think you’re going to tell me that the Land cruiser also belongs…”

“To my only brother.” She finished for him. He is a soldier and is on peace keeping. He said I should use it until he returns from his peacekeeping assignment”. “Actually, pastor, I own nothing. I dropped out of school when our parents died in a car crash. In trying to survive and take care of my kid brother, I followed guys who now and then gave me a little money. One of such guys made me pregnant but asked me to abort it. When I did, I suffered some complications and so my ability to bear children has been affected. My relatives needed someone they could trust to take care of their properties while away. I had nothing to do so they came for me. My uncle for instance would return to Ghana by the end of the year. When he comes, I would render accounts to him and hand over the shop.

Pastor Walsh K. Aidoo nearly collapsed when he heard that. What was the meaning of all this? Ei! Eh? He was very sure this was the very work of the enemy.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Kofi Adu cursed loudly. “What a mess! This is the work of the devil himself! What a fix I’ve gotten myself into! Oh God, I’ve married the wrong woman!”

“Oh my love, what is it? What are you saying? Wasn’t it God himself who put us together? Please don’t leave me!” Joan pleaded. Then suddenly her tone hardened.  “It is now evident to me that you married me because you thought I was wealthy, right? In any case, Pastor, I am stuck on you. You are all that I have in this world now but if you break my heart… if you DARE break my heart, I promise you, my brother will kill you!” Kofi buried his face in his palms.