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FEELINGS
Jade could not get Bech out of his mind after how he had seen her. That moment in her bedroom was the first time he had seen Bech vulnerable. She always looked steady and sturdy, like an unmovable wall. But seeing her writhing between the sheets, evidence that she was having an active dream made Jade want to hold her and be there for her. The farthest he went was holding her hand and forcing his voice through her unconscious state to wake her up. She had never needed to be awoken for an event; she was always waiting for them to finish. But today… Jade stepped
out of her bedroom, admiring the wall hangings as he went to the hall to wait. Even
though Bech did not care about fashion and dolling up like most women did, she
had her fashion sense. Her outfits may look out of style, but her combinations
made them unique. She was unique. Looking carefully at the wall hangings, Jade
perceived Bech to be a woman who loved arts and independence, a woman with courage
and boldness and foresight, what with the soaring eagles and the lionesses on
the framed canvases in colour and black-on-white, and the wooden rendering of
affirmative statements. Bech was a woman in her own rights. She knew who she
was, where she was, and where she was headed. Jade became more attracted to her
as he analyzed her room, an extension of her being. Bech was just the kind of
woman he wanted.
He wondered
why he had not asked her to be his girlfriend yet. The feelings had been there
from the day she joined Lily and him as friends. Well, it turned out that she
had met Lily at their university canteen earlier and had hit it off beautifully.
He thought that that friendship was odd, the two women being opposites: whereas
Lily was extroverted and loud, Bech was reserved and calculated.
Jade had noticed from the start
that Bech was unlike any other woman he had met. She made everyone feel at home
immediately. She didn’t laugh often but there was always a kind smile playing
around her lips. Physically, she wouldn’t win a beauty contest but she exuded
so much radiance that she was beautiful to behold. He wished she would be his alone.
But he could not ask her out initially because of Lily. He considered Lily a
sister he had to look out for, and it looked like for a time, she was attracted
to him too, but the feeling passed. Bech didn’t look the least bit interested
in him at all; she was only interested in picking his brain on art-related
subjects.
So why had he
not proposed still? Despite his popularity as a ladies’ man, Jade was afraid that
Bech would turn him down flat. If she did, their friendship could be ruined. He
could count on Bech’s sensibility and expect her to carry on as if nothing had
happened, but he couldn’t trust himself around her if she turned him down. So he
had kept his feelings to himself, monitoring that of Bech’s for any sign of
partiality towards him. He had seen affection in her eyes once and it was so
brief that he thought he had imagined it. That day, it was just her and him sitting
at their regular canteen, waiting for Lily (Lily was always late). He had been
telling her about his childhood and she was looking at him with eyes so full of
empathy. He fell into them that day. Since then, they had never had time alone
until tonight.
Just then,
Bech stepped into the hall. “I’m so sorry, Jade. I think I’m exhausted.”
“That’s
alright. It happens. Bech,” Jade ventured closer to her, “I… We…” Gosh, when
did he ever fumble with words with a woman? He was Jade, for crying out loud! He
shook his head and tried again. “Bech, I… you look great.”
Bech looked
at Jade, surprised. “Woah, Jade, thank you.” She felt weird looking at him, her
hand in his – she didn’t know how it got there. It must be the aftereffects of the
dream…
Lily barged
into the hall just then, breaking the magic. “We’re late! Come on, what are you
standing there for? Let’s go!” Just like that, she left in the same manner.
Whatever Jade was going to say had
stuck in his throat. But he knew he had to tell her. He couldn’t let the night
pass without her knowing how he felt about her, and finally knowing if she felt
the same way about him. As he held the door open for her and locked up after
her, he smiled. It was going to be a heaven of a night.
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