MOVING ON

Every two people who enter into a relationship have their expectations of the relationship. Some expect their relationship to continue into marriage. Some know that their relationship will not go farther than their beds. Whatever it is, an end is not perceived, especially if all is going well. Therefore, when a relationship has to end, the first impact is sudden before the acceptance come later. People who expected more from their relationship are those who suffer the most when it ends. Sometimes, it takes an end to make a person appreciate what they had or what they really need from a life partner. These are four suggestions concerning what to do after the heart has suffered a break.

Do not hate.

This will be very hard especially if you are on the receiving end of the breakup. You are likely to feel used and stupid because you did not see it coming. It’s all good. Let the feelings come and let those feelings pass. Hating your partner and/or yourself will not bring your partner back to you. It will rather make you a bitter and vengeful person who will no longer see the good in anyone and that might make you lose sight of the person who will be a better person with you.

Do not belittle yourself.

Yes. DO NOT! A lot of people have unknowingly descended into the inferiority pit after they were jilted. The jilted person feels that if they were not good for the one who left, they cannot possibly be good for another person. They tend to carry negativity around like a solid shield. When jilted, what you can do is to assess the relationship, your partner and yourself objectively and see what might have gone wrong. Sometimes, the fault may not be from either of you but from the timing of the affair. So if they leave you, pick yourself up and choose your own path. A few things might change about you but by all means, do not end up in the inferiority pit!

Do not mope in misery.

Linked to the above, some people are tempted to lock themselves in and shut the world out, sinking deep in frustration and misery. Please, all that you will gain from moping is pity, and pity is definitely not a good recipe for any good relationship. Pick yourself up, dust yourself clean and move on!

Move on.

Get a life. Live. This will be difficult especially considering that the partners have gone a very long way in their relationship. The brokenness can be very difficult to heal: you have given so much to your beloved and then suddenly, all is lost. Trust me, moving on is difficult, but moping is not worth your while either.

Imagine falling heavily from a high place. You might break some bones but no matter how hurt you are, you still try to get up from where you fell. If you find the task difficult, you ask for help from people nearby (normally people come to your aid before you even invite them). They help you back on your feet. The same applies when a broken heart is healing. Stretch out to good people and they will respond to you. By mingling with your family and friends, reconstructing healthy relationships and not dwelling on the past, you will heal fast and possibly be a better person for your better person. Be happy!